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The signs of a relationship that is heading for disaster is that people neglect their friendship and intimacy and allow conflict to escalate and become contemptuous and insulting.

Question from chat room: If a couple fails to have those characteristics you consider essential to a healthy marriage, should they give up on the relationship? John Gottman: Let me say that the characteristics are not in the people. Question from chat room: How long does it take to evaluate an average couple for compatibility? John Gottman: We can evaluate a marriage in three hours. It's absolutely possible to find out if you really match with one another.

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